My insides don’t like me

Well it kind of says it in the title, My insides don’t like me. It’s true! My immune system attacks my insides, causing ulcers within my large intestine also known as the colon or bowel! Its a funny old business. Sometimes i mean all the time it really frustrates me, because not only does it cause serious anemia, tiredness, weight-loss but it causes a hell of a lot of pain. Its a real struggle day to day, that no one really understands, other than fellow suffers. I’ve become very good at hiding how I’m feeling and when I’m really struggling, its almost like I’m having a psychological battle with my body which is physically trying to pull me down, if that makes any sort of sense! I’m basically too stubborn to stop what I’m doing and just rest. Because WHY should I? why should I at the age of 21 stop the things I want to do in life because of a Illness I didn’t ask for? That’s another thing that frustrates me!

What I won’t let happen is, I won’t let colitis define me as a person. It may have ruined a massive part of my life since 2012 but I won’t let it beat me. What I can say about my Illness is that through the struggle of fighting it, it has made me the person I am today, It has made me so much stronger, physically and mentally. It has taught me so much about the people I surround myself with and who is really there for me when I need it the most.

I am a strong believer of ‘everything happens for a reason’ and despite my frustration I’m always trying to find positive ways to answer the ‘why me’ question….