9 weeks…. 9 weeks until this girl Is on stage in front of 100’s of people…
Am I nervous? YES
Am I going to bring my best package to stage? YES
Am I going to eat a massive burger after? HELL YES
Alot of mixed emotions, and to be quite honest alot of them are caused by my ostomy.
I’m absolutely petrified to go in front of a theatre full of people with my bag fully exposed, I know that on IG/TWITTER/FACEBOOK I’m very open about my ostomy but going out in front of the world Is a completely different matter.
A couple of months ago I plucked up the courage to wear a bikini over a one piece at a local swimming pool.. and I tell you this now, some people are so god damn rude.. I mean yeah take a glance Its not something you see everyday .. but seriously did you need to elbow your friend to get their attention to stare aswell? The general public can be disrespectful and I’m almost preparing myself for some rude comments and questions. I’ve already had to block some IG users from making some comments I have found very abrupt.
Some day’s I really do question whether I can do this, and other days I’m so fired up no one can stop me in my tracks.
Its draining to say the least… If I’m not worried about wearing my bag fully exposed I’m having visions of leaking or ballooning which would probably be the worse scenario I can think of.
I’ve recently being trialling my ‘stage bag’ It’s a ‘Coloplast Sensura Mio’ as shown below:
Out of the 6 times wearing it I’ve had 1 leak so far and the rest of the times after around 8 hours wear I’ve had the starting sights of a leak… this is making me frustrated and my skin so sore!!!
I have heard rumours Coloplast Is however releasing some convex types (I normally wear a Salts Convex) … but when I do not know.. so until then I’m using countless products to make me feel secure and worry free… so far not feeling 100% happy.
My prep diet with an ostomy Is challenging, ask my partner. He’s definitely losing hair trying to make it ‘stoma friendly’ and I really do thank him for all the effort he’s putting into this for me! Alot of food’s don’t agree with me.. so when we make changes to the diet we have to keep an eye on how my stoma reacts.. normally it’s fine but I’ve had some problems with watery output & blockages. But I will not moan because If it wasn’t for my ostomy I wouldn’t be doing this right now!
Besides all my fears with the Ostomy and going onto stage, Im proud of ‘Me’ for even doing this… A year ago I would of never had seen myself even living with an Ostomy let alone competing in my 1st bodybuilding show with it ! 🙂
I will try and keep you all updated as much as possible!! But until then carry on following my journey on IG 🙂 xx